November 24, 2024

The Queens County Citizen

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Job Interviews | Press

Job Interviews |  Press

Interview to get a job a few years ago, already

Posted at 6:00 p.m.

Director : Hello!

Candidate : Hello sir! I brought you coffee.

Director : Thanks, but I already have one.

Candidate : Sorry.

Director : I saw your CV, it is correct, but you do not have much experience.

Candidate : Because I just left university.

Director : Yes, yes … your results are not bad.

Candidate : I’m done with A +.

Director : You know, grades, we can not trust it, once on the field, it means nothing anymore.

Candidate : Sure.

Director : So why should we hire you?

Candidate : Because I’m a worker. I am very willing to work overtime. I will be available at all times. I’m a team girl. I love power. I already have your company logo tattooed on my heart.

Director : Do not go too fast for a tattoo. Do you have any questions?

Candidate : What is the position of the third assistant to the second assistant?

Director : It will help.

Candidate : And, if I could say so, what are the conditions?

Director : You were originally hired as a trainee for six months without pay and if you do the trick, your traineeship will be renewed for another six months, doubling your salary.

Candidate : It’s exciting!

Director : Thanks for coming.

Candidate : Is that so?

Director : Yes, we have dozens of interviews today.

Candidate : When do I hear from you?

Director : I do not really know. But most of all, do not call us, we will call you. If that happens. Have a nice day!

Job interview to be held in 2022

Director : Hello!

Candidate : Hello sir!

Director : I brought you coffee.

Candidate : Is it Maciatona?

Director : A macchiato?

Candidate : Espresso is made with a small amount of foam milk similar to cappuccino, but is stronger.

Director : No, this is a regular cafe. I’m really sorry.

Candidate : (Big sigh) I’m fine.

Director : From tomorrow, the Maciato machine will arrive.

Candidate : Yes yes. I’ve seen your website, it’s good, but it’s not successful.

Director : That’s why I want someone like you.

Candidate : Fortunately, your results are not bad.

Director : Our profits have increased.

Candidate : You know, the benefits, you can not believe it. It goes up, it goes down.

Director : Sure.

Candidate : Then why should I join your company?

Director : Because we are a company that has a heart for the well-being of its employees.

Candidate : For me, my well-being is three weeks off in summer, three weeks off in winter. And a three-week vacation, in the spring. It was so beautiful, spring. And of course, three weeks in the fall, to see the colors.

Director : It should work.

Candidate : Suppose the posted salary is correct but double it is good. Holidays are expensive!

Director : It should work.

Candidate : And then the position, instead of an assistant to a director, I want to be an assistant director, it looks better on my Instagram profile.

Director : It should work.

Candidate : Well, that’s not all, I have to go, there are almost ten interviews today.

Director : No need to go anywhere, you’re engaged! I sent a message to the board and they agreed to all your terms. Assistant Director, three months leave per year and double salary. Welcome to our home!

Candidate : Is that right? It went fast! I do not like when things are going fast, it makes me stressed. I’m not sure I want a big job with a big salary and big vacations. It’s too old, that’s all. I need to think about it.

Director : When do we hear from you?

Candidate : I do not really know. But most of all, do not call me, I will call you. If that happens. Have a nice day!

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